Moving Abroad With Kids: How to Help Your Child Adjust to a New Country

Most children do adjust to moving abroad, but they usually need time, honesty and steady routines to do it well. Kids may seem to adapt quickly on the surface while working through a lot underneath: lost friendships, a new school, a new language and a decision they didn't get to make. The parent supporting them is usually adjusting at the same time.

This guide covers what children may be dealing with, what to expect at different ages, signs a child is struggling, and practical ways to help.

What children may be dealing with after a move abroad

Losing friends. For school-age children and teens especially, friendships are the centre of life. Leaving them can feel enormous.

A new school system. Different expectations, a different language of instruction and the challenge of being the new kid, all at once.

Loss of control. Children rarely choose a move. Even when they are excited, they may feel that a big decision happened to them. Some feel angry about being left out of it.

Mixed loyalties. They may enjoy the new place and then feel guilty, as if liking it means betraying home or old friends.

Feeling your stress. Children read their parents closely. If you are anxious or overwhelmed, they will often sense it.

What to expect at different ages

Responses vary with age and personality. Vanessa Simpson, a licensed clinical social worker at Children's Health, notes in her guide to helping children adjust to a move that younger children may feel anxious about change without fully understanding it, while older children may grieve friends, teams and activities.

• Toddlers and preschoolers may become clingy, sleep poorly or temporarily lose skills like toilet training.
• School-age children often worry about making friends and fitting in at school.
• Teenagers may feel the loss most sharply, especially of friendships and identity, and may show it through anger, withdrawal or spending most of their time online with friends back home.

Signs your child may be struggling

Children often show stress through behaviour rather than words. Watch for:

• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Clinginess, or regression in younger children
• Irritability, tantrums or more arguments than usual
• Withdrawal, or long periods alone or on screens
• Stomach aches or headaches without a clear cause
• Not wanting to go to school
• A teenager who seems flat, hopeless or angrier than usual

Many of these are normal for a while after a move. If they last for weeks, or seem to be getting worse, look more closely and consider getting advice. The NHS has helpful guidance for parents on noticing and supporting children's mental health.

How to help your child adjust to a new country

Before the move

• Tell them early and honestly. Share the reason, the destination and the timing as early as you reasonably can, in words that fit their age.
• Let them ask questions and voice feelings, including sadness and anger.
• Involve them in choices, such as their room, what to pack first or which activity to try.
• Help them say proper goodbyes: a last visit to a favourite place, a photo book, contact details collected.

After you arrive

• Keep familiar routines. Bedtime rituals, family meals and weekend traditions tell children that some things stay the same.
• Prepare for school. Visit, meet staff if you can, or look at photos and activities together beforehand.
• Help them build friendships. Extracurricular activities, sports and playdates create the repeated contact friendships grow from.
• Support old friendships. Scheduled video calls, games or letters help children keep their roots.
• Make space for both feelings. Let them miss home and enjoy the new place at the same time. Saying "it's okay to love it here and still miss your friends" can be a relief.
• Stay in touch with the school. Teachers can tell you how your child is doing socially and may have experience with new arrivals.
• Find health care early. Research a doctor and any specialists your child may need.

Language and school

If your child is learning in a new language, expect a dip in confidence and possibly in grades for a while. Celebrate effort, not only results. Many international schools and local schools have support for new language learners. It is worth asking what is available.

Families who move again and again

Some families move every few years for work, and in professional sport a trade can move children in the middle of a school year with only days' notice. For families living with transfers and trades, see moving every few years for work. Children who grow up this way are often called third culture kids, and they face particular joys and challenges. I cover this in third culture kids: raising children who move often.

Looking after yourself too

Parents often put their own adjustment on hold to settle their children. But your wellbeing affects theirs. If you are struggling with low mood, loneliness or identity after the move, you deserve support too. My guides to relocation depression and loneliness after moving abroad are good places to start.

When to look for support

If a child's distress is lasting, if you are worried about their mood or safety, or if family stress is building, consider talking to a professional. Depending on age and need, that might be a child specialist, a school counsellor, or family sessions where everyone can talk together.

Frequently asked questions

How long does it take a child to adjust to moving abroad?

It varies by age, personality and circumstances. Many children settle within months as they make friends and build routines, while others take longer, especially teenagers and children learning a new language. Ongoing distress after several months is worth discussing with a professional.

Is it harder for teenagers to move abroad?

Often, yes. Teenagers' identities are closely tied to friendships and belonging, so they may feel the loss more sharply. Involving them in decisions and supporting their existing friendships helps.

How can I help my child make friends in a new country?

Sign them up for regular activities such as sports, clubs or classes, arrange playdates, and connect with other families. Friendships grow through repeated contact over time.

Should I worry if my child seems fine right away?

Not necessarily, but keep checking in. Some children adjust quickly. Others show their feelings later, once the novelty wears off. Keep the conversation open over the first months.

Talk it through

Sometimes the move is for everyone else. You're learning the rhythms of a new place, holding family life together, and trying to recognize yourself in the middle of it all.

I offer therapy to women and families in Saskatchewan, and transition coaching to clients living elsewhere. Wherever you're joining from, our conversations can make room for what this season has brought up and help you find your footing again. Sessions are virtual, in English or French.

Not sure what kind of support you're looking for? A free 30-minute consultation is a gentle place to start. We can talk about what's been weighing on you and whether working together feels like a good fit.